Oh, what to write about? What has happened lately?
I guess nothing much.
I've felt kind of empty, I guess. Slowly slipping back into apathy like I used to be in.
I don't like it. Especially since now, I can't hide it. My emotional guards are down.
I could cry at any tiny thing happening, when I'm not really upset. And, it's embarrassing and I just feel like I hurt the people around me.
I feel trapped by normalacy. I want to be free. I want to start walking. I want to just go somewhere on a whim!
Everything seems to just takes so much plaaaannning. Preeeparing...!
I just want to do.
It's terrible to feel like you're meant for something great, but then you feel so terribly insignificant.
I mean, yes, I know I am quite significant to the people around me... That should be enough.... It should....
I guess my problem right now is that I feel like I'm losing myself.
I am so blessed. Why isn't that enough?
God, where are you?
Why have you been replaced by a knot in my stomach?
But, don't worry-! Since I'm writing this down now, I'm doing better. I'm stealing Wesley's idea that he does like Dumbledore does with his memories: takes them out of his mind and puts them away. I'm doing much better. :)
Wesley, thank you for everything you do. I know it's difficult, whenever I'm just in a down mood... I bring you down, too, don't I? I'm sorry. But, thank you for being there. I just need to know it's ok and that you'll love me no matter what. Play with my hair. Make me food. Hold my hand. Tell me to rest. Write me a letter.
Hahaha, maybe that will help when you don't know what to do. :)
It's hard, I know. And, you already help with a lot of other people.
It's amazing that you care so much to the point that it breaks your heart that I'm not doing well. Thank you. :) Truly.
You do help. Never think you don't.
