Especially how I feel about things. It's almost like I'm afraid of "happiness" and so I trick myself into thinking I don't want it all together.
Or maybe it's the opposite: I really don't want it and I'm tricking myself into thinking I must be afraid so then I think that I do want it.
It's all so confusing. It...makes sense in my head...
But, there's a part of me that thinks, "What the hay-- go and play!" Bwahaha... no that's not really what I was thinking but the rhyme came out so hilariously I had to keep it..
*cough cough* Anyway, part of me that thinks, "What the heck! Just have fun!"
But, another part thats all logical and thinks, "You should really think through this. What if thats not the right thing to do? What if that, later, causes you pain? Is it really worth the effort?"
And... now that I'm typing this all out... I kinda wanna yell at the second half, "SHUT UP!" And maybe throw my shoe at it...
I have been thinking long and hard about this. And my conclusion IS that I've been overthinking it. Coming up with wild scenarios... Psh. Silly Whitney... You think like that too much and all you'll get in life is doubt. And more doubt. And doubts about your doubts! It never ends!! Hahaha! :)
So yeah. I don't know. I keep going up and down... up and down... up and down...
'And today, kids, the word of the day is "repetition". Anyone know what that means? It means you repeat something over and over and over to show emphasis...'
Yeah. I don't know what that's about... I felt as though it was necessary to explain why I keep repeating things... And it was kinda funny... to me at least...
But... even after all this I'm still going to continue to just overthink. . . :P I can't seem to reach a conclusion...
I'll try not to let it consume me...
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Whoa. I didn't realize how depressing that post sounded until I re-read it! Don't get me wrong! I'm like SUPER happy right now. It's been wonderful. I've been hanging out with friends and my days are completely filled with laughter!
Also, only my exams are left. Tomorrow are two exams. I have one in the afternoon on Friday, one in the afternoon on Monday, and one on the half day on Tuesday! WOO! :D
I'm so pumped for summer!! It's gonna be great! :))
I dont know why I thought of this, but I like a song by 'Pink' that is a completely innapropriate song, but the censored version is my secret anthem. Anyway, there is a lyric in this song that says, "Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead." It speaks to me. So if you have ever heard this song...hopefully the censored version....(Im obligated to say that since I am your Auntie) you know that I hope you NEVER think you are less than perfect! P.S...it's easier to comment as 'Anonymous' but I think you know who this is. ;)
ReplyDeleteHahaha! I just listened to it. Yeah, that's really cool. Made me smile. Definitely how I feel sometimes. Thank you. :}
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